ACLU files new lawsuit

Lawyers from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) filed it's first largest brief
early Thursday morning. "We now have our hands on a great problem that effects everyone around the globe," said Matthew Jones, ACLU staff attorney. Apparently, the ACLU's latest target is nothing more but the Sun. "It caused our need to have time zones," said Jones "It violates civil rights and liberties around the globe for men and women watching the 2006 Winter Olympics on their local stations to find out the results when they have already occured several hours before."

Californian Jillian Moore, an avid Olympic viewer, is outraged by learning that the United States did not win any medals in the Figure Skating Pairs competition. "There I was watching the skating eager to watch the outcome when my bastard son comes into the room saying that the Russians won the gold," said Moore, "I was so furious I hurled the remote at the cat." Her son, Twilight Moore, learned the results over the internet.

"Because of the Sun and the rotation of the earth we need time zones which effects the broadcasts of the Winter Olympics," said Franklin Storm, representative for the National Aeronautics and Space Administration. "If it weren't for these time zones, television viewers would either have to watch the results in the early morning or late at night to see the results as they happen, or in real time."

It is well known that NBC and other national television stations "leap-frog" their programs in an effort for scheduling them in a popular time slot. But the ACLU has stated that this is "unfair".

The Sun has not responded to emails sent by "Cooper's Blog" .