Brokeback Mountain

(Previously posted on my livejournal, I present it here to maybe stir up a little action*)

****SPOILER WARNING****

I delved in this in my mind for weeks ever since the media acclaimed how "Brokeback Mountain" was/is a great film in all respects, my curiosity over came my sense of well being, and, two weeks ago, after it opened in major cities from coast to coast, I snuck by cops in my illegal, broken tail-lighted car and spent my well-earned $8.50 (plus mandatory popcorn and cola) to see the film.

For a Monday night, the theatre had a decent audience, despite the movie's successful opening weekend. The persons in the seats were mostly middle-aged women and an occasional older couple, a few sets of female "younglings" sparsed throughout the theatre. I managed to get close to my preferred section of the theatre--about midcenter front and back and left and right.

After about two decades of previews and ads the movie began and, after already sipping down half my pop, I already felt the need to urinate; I knew this would be painful.

I'll admit here that I really liked Ang Lee's "Hulk" which really didn't get the greatest praise for the computer generated Hulk, but how else could you film such a creature that can leap from dune to dune and take on attack 'choppers and battle against the great Nick Nolte? I respect and admire Ang Lee for taking on a project that, to the misinformed, would be controversial to the morally right.

Is this the 'gay cowboy movie' that pushes a 'gay' agenda and is to open minds to accept diversity? To that, I reply, "no". Brokeback is a film that is and should be the prime example of "regurgitated plagiarism".

Starting in 1963, two out of work cowboys emerged in front of a trailer in a dusty lot owned by a sheep rancher that is looking for two guys, one dude to stay at a basic camp and another to ride up on his horse in the evenings to watch for coyotes and protect the sheep from getting eaten and to come back down for some tasty, campfire roasted beans provided by the schmuck Ennis Del Mar that is played by the Golden Globe Winner, Heath Ledger (heart throb, guy who should have boned a sheep).

These two cowboys had to endure a month of this (to be precise, August) and after a few beats of keeping to themselves they grew (no pun intended) into a close friendship, which, after a bit much of the whiskey by the great Heath and the chilly summer nights of the WY mountains, Jack Twist (played by Jake Gyllenhaal, who was Donnie Darko in the indie film of the same name) unbuckled his cowboy belt and wiggled his ass to lower his Wranglers, bent over to allow access to the very drunk, horny Ennis. Rough, cowboy butt-sex ensued, but as horrid as that sounds, it only lasts for seconds on screen and there's no nudity, thank God. "I'm not queer", "Well, neither am I" said the two cowboys that just "broke" new ground as they stumbled out of their canvas tent in the dew of the following morning.

Ennis was engaged and got married after that summer of love in 1963, so they part ways. Ennis had two kids with his wife and Jack "Twistem Off" found his way in Texas, and like Ennis, found his hetero love, soon-to-be-wife, a rodeo cowgirl barrel rider. Years yawningly passed as the director milked boring, yet beautiful, landscapes of the Wyoming mountains as our too lovebirds struggled with their situations, both financially and in their struggle to maintain their marriage vows.

Through the following years (as this story encompassed about 30 years), our sensitive Jack made the trek in his beat up pick-up truck to Wyoming to partake in days-long fishing trips with his lifelong friend. Ennis' wife notices that his fishing creel (a creel is the weaved basket that fishermen use to stow fish-- see A River Runs Through Her, I mean It) still has the price-tag attached to it, it hasn't been used. And yeah, women are more intelligent than men, she sees the two 'friends' mackin' the knife in front of the homestead. Needless to say Ennis' wife knew she married a fag. They get divorced and Ennis struggles making a living for himself and providing child support.

The movie goes on and on, much like this review.

Jack's wife divorces him as well and according to Jack, this opens up more 'precious' time with his lover, but Ennis is unwilling to go through with it. This pisses Jack off (jack off, hahaha) and he eventually pursues other gay men, to his destruction.

Jack dies of 'natural causes' as his family says, and Ennis, being a good, life-long friend attempt to carry out his lover's wishes and requests that Jack's parents allow him to spread his ashes over, you know where, Brokeback Mountain. The parents decline but allow Ennis to grab a shirt from Jack's old room. Having lost his marriage and his gay lover, the beloved Golden Globe winner Heath Ledger is dreadfully sorrow and the film ends.

What really bewildered me was the humour involved. This wasn't really funny at all, but I noticed women laughed during typical male responses made by Ennis as he responded to the bitch's (Jack Twist) emotions about his feelings toward Ennis. "Yeah, my husband/boyfriend scratches his balls too" is basically the joke. Why laugh at that?

The film ran too long which I can fully understand why Lee and the editor of the film utilized to help present the idea that this story took placed over many years. And to the straight guy, you do get to see two pairs of female mammaries and that should prevent you from turning gay, heaven forbid. Other nudity included our two gay cowboys jumping off a cliff into a stream of water. Now, to anyone who loves the outdoors and has been cliffjumping know better to not jump into glacier/snow fed streams or lakes regardless of how exhilarating the jump is or how deep the water is without protection. When a man does this the first thing he is concerned about is shrinkage and grabs his bits as he's plummeting down to the abyss. In the film, our boys flop in the wind, and luckily it is a long shot, as the viewer sees the itty bitty weenies as they 'romantically' spend this wonderful event together.

IMHO, the Golden Globe for Best Actor - Drama went to Ledger but should have gone to the much better actor, Russel Crowe in Cinderella Man. Basically, Ledger played a man who choosingly buries his sensitivity and emotion deep inside of him in order for him to be a rough and tough cowboy. That isn't that hard for any man. Any man could do that and grunt and mumble incoherently and make stupid, typical responses that can make any female chortle. A bum out of Detroit could have done just as fine as a job, even Eminem. Ledger shouldn't have won, but that's Hollywood for ya. To give credit to the acting, I'd have to give a kudo for Jake Gyllenhaal who played the much more open to his emotions and the true pursuer to his yearnings for butt-sex.

But of course, by this time and this year, films sucked and now we have this highly reviewed award winning gay cowboy movie.
THANKS HOLLYWOOD!

I read in an OP/ED of the Omaha newspaper that many women have tried to drag their boyfriends or spouses into the theatre to see this movie. I say if your man doesn't want to go, drop it right quick, call your closest girlfriend and go see it with her. DO NOT TRY to lure a guy in and proclaim that this is a great love story, it really isn't. But if you feel it is important, no--VITAL, to your relationship, just say "Hey, you get to see two chicks' tits in it". That's good enough for me.

How in the hell did this won best adapted screenplay? Brokeback Mountain was based on a short story written by a gay-loving chick who probably thought it was original to write a short story about two gay cowboys set over 20 or 30 years in Wyoming. This film was so awful that it took TWO, yes I said two, screenwriters to adapt it into a paletable film. How could this fact sneak by the film's praising reviewers?

The reason I said that this film was an example of regurgitated plagiarism is because it is in fact a spin-off and retelling of Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet". Once you understand the concepts between Brokeback and 'Speare's "R&J" you can see why. In both you have two lovers that seek each other despite the consequences their companionship brings. Both stories have feuding systems in which the lovers struggle to maintain and deal with. Both stories end tragically.

Yeah, it ends tragically and here's the spoiler: Jack "Twist the little demons off" gets bashed in by homophobes on an isolated stretch of highway. If you doze off in this movie, you'll definately will miss this important catch of the film because it is so quick and brief and snapped shot that only your sub-concience will register the fate of Jack and the multiple uses of a tire iron, particularly as a blunt object beating up a human.

You catch the drift and I don't condone gay bashing.

But to anyone who is dragged in to see this movie and to endure the audience being caught in that Brokeback is a true love story I dare him or her to break the ice and as Jack gets chased with the tire iron and as you see a bit of blood, by all means, yell out "Get that fag!" and maybe, just maybe, you can save a few moviegoers to snap out of this facade and come to realization of what a joke this movie really is.

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*Note: With writing, I always find myself reworking entries in my head almost to the point to decide whether or not to change the original entry. However, leaving entries alone is perhaps an honest way to present an author's work as an unorthodox format. I used a lot of tongue-in-cheek in this review, but I am not a 'homophobe' or even anti-gay, eventhough I don't encourage homosexuality.